Visit Dear Mrs. Web online: http://www.dearmrsweb.com

Dear Mrs. Web,
My father is moving in with my nine-year-old son and me. Dad recently had a stroke and is now partially disabled. Dad will need some help around the house and it will be great to have him there when my son comes home from school. My son loves Dad but is upset that he has had to move out of his room to a corner of the living room. We just don’t have anymore space.
Feeling Crowded

Dear Crowded,
How wonderful it is that your son be able to spend more time with your father. Your son may be happier if you can give him a corner in the apartment that is his own. It may not be where his bed is but a place where he can have a beanbag chair and be away from the rest of you.
Regards,
Dear Mrs. Web

Dear Mrs. Web,
I have a son who is such a perfectionist that he is afraid to try anything because he is afraid he will fail. He has always gotten good grades but now that he is going into high school he won’t take the harder courses or join any clubs or teams that require work because he said he didn’t like losing. He has ability and has always done very well in school. I don’t think this is healthy.
Concerned Dad

Dear Concerned Dad,
Children who have had some experience with failure and are given skills to persevere will better handle the hurdles life presents. As his father, you might want to give your son a crash course on failure and perseverance.
Read biographies together about famous failures like Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein. Talk about and explore biographies about the character traits that help people overcome the roadblocks in their lives, perseverance, of course, but also self reflection and evaluation, persistence, faith, hope, courage, and delayed gratification. You would want to nip this behavior now. He will have to learn this lesson and it is better that he learn it now. Regards,
Dear Mrs. Web

Dear Mrs. Web,
My mother-in-law told me today that she did not receive thank you notes from our children for Christmas gifts. The children called her specifically to thank her for the gifts. All of them talked to her and thanked her. She seems to be expecting a card from each of them. The kids are reluctant to write her, they keep saying, they already thanked her. What do I do?
Very Thankful

Dear Very Thankful,
Purchase attractive note cards for each of them, sit them down, and teach them to write a thank-you. There is no substitute for a written note.
This is a skill they need to learn. It shows they took the time to be thoughtful, and is a hallmark of good manners. Each year I include a pack of note cards under the tree for each child.
Regards,
Dear Mrs. Web

Dear Mrs. Web,
You often recommend professional counseling. How do I find a good counselor?

At my website, http://www.dearmrsweb.com I have a handy overview called Choosing a Therapist. There you will find details about therapists, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists and their training and values.
There are many therapists whose beliefs, lifestyles, or practices are questionable. I find many do not support traditional values or beliefs. However, there are times, particularly in marriage counseling, where a skilled, supportive therapist can make all the difference. There are also times where skilled counselors can help a broken family, a difficult child, or a number of other issues.
Regards,
Dear Mrs. Web