Give Yourself Permission by Jane Boswell

This issue of Home Educator's Family Times is filled with words to encourage and equip you. Some will make you smile, others might beckon you to a time of reflection. I won’t take up much time here – I wanted to speak to you personally for just a moment. If we were sitting at your kitchen table sharing a pot of tea, I'd like to look you in the eye, tell you that you're doing just fine and assure you that you’ll have a successful homeschool year. And I’d just add one more thing.

Please...
Give yourself permission:

to put your feet up.

You must be rested and refreshed to be the keeper of your home - go to bed early, get up early, make time alone, just for you and take an afternoon nap... just a short one. You need it.

to let your child make mistakes.

You are not responsible for every, shall we say, non-productive thing your child says or does... he has his own mind, thoughts, emotions and will... your self respect does not depend on his behavior or intellect.. Please believe that.

to claim ignorance.

Learn to say, “I don’t know, how can we find out?” Instead of playing Einstein, help your child think for himself. A friend of mine tried this with her four-year-old. She reported back to me after a week of experimenting with the "I don't knows" to her son's endless stream of questions. It was quite a success as he did come up with brilliant ideas of his own, but on one occasion he turned to her, shaking his head sadly and said, “Poor Mommy, you don’t know anything, do you?” Perhaps a little humbled, this twice-college-degreed mom was still happy with the results.

to say no.

You are no longer JUST a stay-at-home-mom living a life of luxury with time to fritter. You are a full-time committed mother, wife, tutor, mentor, curriculum designer - you get the idea - who CANNOT be available for every volunteer/service/emergency opportunity at church, community or even within your immediate family. Just look yourself in the mirror and practice saying "No", sweetly but firmly. You'll get the hang of it.

to be yourself.

I know you've heard this before... "YOU are unique, your FAMILY is unique, your CHILDREN are each unique and so your HOMESCHOOLING will be UNIQUE." However, it seems difficult for parents, especially mothers, to internalize this truth. There is a huge temptation to steal just a glance over the fence into the greener grass of the Homeschool Perfects - the family you just know has it all together all the time. Why, just look at them! They're even color-coordinated as they skip, single-file, into their mini-van to embark on the third field trip this week! There is no such thing as a perfect family, parent, child, and homeschool. Please be yourself, and begin the journey (sometimes arduous) to accept yourself - imperfections and all. Then you'll be comfortable enough to honestly tackle necessary changes, little by little.

Enjoy that cup of tea with your feet up.
Jane Boswell