An Unschooler’s Summer Journal

by Peter Kowalke

 I just left Hampshire College, determined to unschool my way through the college years instead. Here’s my summer journal (well, excerpts from it):

May 27—We, as a family, need to work together in this tough period of reintroduction now that I’m living at home again. Dad and I had an hour conversation about integrity and the dire need for good communication. It was an encouraging conversation, which comes on the heels of positive interaction with both Mom and my brother, Adam. All three of them have, in their own ways, shown an interest in cultivating a new, positive family dynamic. Adam and I are conceding to each other on the matter of space allocation, Mom has paused for a moment to say that she is sorry for her emotional outburst last night, and even Dad is opening up to a frank discussion.

June 1—I went to see Pauline today about working for the Learning About Business summer program this year. Tammy will be working again this year, so I’ll have to play second fiddle. Still, I’m looking forward to LAB. Getting caught in the excitement of building yet another publishing vehicle [the program’s newsletter], I spent all day after my meeting doing a detailed analysis of The Washington Street Journal and devising ways to make it better.

June 2—I met with Tammy. We met over coffee and discussed how we were going to do the paper. Although I dominated the conversation and was unfairly well-prepared for a first meeting, things went well. The real test will be tomorrow morning, though, once she has had time to look over everything.

June 3—At our 10 a.m. meeting, Tammy all but shot down my plans for The Washington Street Journal. She took part of my biographical sketch idea, decried planning as a virus that would infect spontaneity, and asked that changes come next year, not now. She even wanted to use a scanner and old Mac from early 1992. With such strong sentiment on her part and memories of The Forward on mine [the paper I managed at Hampshire College], I felt it necessary for me to keep quiet at our meeting with Pauline at 10:30 a.m. Tammy did the talking, schmoozing nicely, but was ultimately lacking any sort of brilliance. I think that Pauline saw the lack of purpose, too—I couldn’t help but feel that she was always on the verge of saying “But get on with it!”

June 11—Day one of my two-day commitment to Mentor High School’s graduation ceremony. After interviewing Tom at the Wickliffe Lubrizol plant and making a few early morning LAB calls, Dad, two of his students and I spent all day at the Cleveland Convocation Center. We went from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m., working hard all day. We set up equipment, took levels, ran through camera angles. It was tiring, but for the first time I enjoyed video work. Without being too presumptuous, it looks as though video might play a role in my life; I’ve finally caught the bug. Funny how I might be a combination of both my mother (the former English teacher) and my father (the video production teacher).

June 12—I directed the live graduation broadcast to an audience of 7000. It was my first directorial opportunity, and I loved it. Maybe it was the size of the event, the marriage of tech with artistry, or the fact that I only made one mistake? Whatever the reason for my sudden interest in directing, it now is firmly in place. The whole graduation program went well.

June 18—I let Pauline know that she could have me lead or she could have me follow; I was not going to try and subtly play editor for a managing editor with greatly divergent editorial views.

            Later in the night, Pauline’s decision was made moot. As soon as Pauline and the others had left the LAB office, Tammy and the head of the computer simulation game took a walk. I, of course, stayed in the office to continue writing bios for the upcoming week. When they returned from their walk, I was officially out of the loop—they called all of the shots. They were even redoing the layout work that I had created a few weeks earlier. Whoa! I quickly backpedaled. The only workable solution was to forget about layout and the overall publication. I decided to focus on the writing, demoting myself to staff writer. At least I could be proud of my own work. Being sick from fever, the demotion would also allow me to slacken my workload a bit.

July 1—I printed my first set of quality prints tonight. It was a gorgeous reproduction of Tina [my close friend from Hampshire]. Tonight’s time in the photography lab was well spent: I learned how to dodge and burn, how to use the grain magnifier, the 4-blade easel, as well as how to produce a quality print. It was heady stuff. I was the only one in the photo lab tonight.

            I woke late on account of last night’s movie. In the morning I completed my legs workout. Then I went to the photo lab. Afterwards, I started to collect video material for my video study. I’m excited about my video work, just as I am excited about my photo studies. My college unschooling goes well.

July 5—It was another hot day. Instead of reading, though, I started the day by playing tennis with Adam and Dad. The rest of the day quickly evolved into a computer marathon, with me immediately setting to the task of hard drive partitioning and OS installing on the new Linux computer. I stayed by my trio of Mac desktop, Windows laptop and borrowed Linux computer for most of the day.

July 17—It has been a good day. I finished the Home Education Magazine article, read a lot more of my video textbook, and got creative at the photo lab. Once I had printed a few Kodalith images [photographs with no tonal range—literally black and white photographs], I wondered how an image would look if the white areas were double-exposed with a traditional B&W image. The creation that spawned from the idea was fantastic. My Kodalith process needs to be improved, but the image is still fantastic.

July 27—I feel as though I’m learning twice as fast as I did during college. I’ve worked all day, and I’m still going strong. I’m doing good work and growing intellectually to compete with anything a $33,000 college education could offer. This is the kind of work I imagined I would do at home while I was still in Amherst, Massachusetts. There are no negative thoughts tonight. There are only heady moments of excitement and sheer intellectual expansion while I read photo books and Scott McCloud’s

Understanding Comics.

            Tonight I reflected on my homeschooling experience, preparing for my late August talk in Ann Arbor, Michigan. All that I’ve become is a direct product of where I’ve been and who I have been in contact with at the time. It is uncanny. There is no mystery to it, and I could not be any place but where I’ve been. I should remember that more often. It is my bet that life will work out in the end if I go with my flow more.

August 19—I can’t return to college. It is a waste of money when cheaper opportunities are out there.

            Today I finished reading the negotiations how-to book Getting to Yes, went to the library, and watched the film, Twelve Angry Men. Having completed an economics unit study, I am now excited to get to the business of more video work.

August 25—I need to get out of the house more. Our house is a recluse’s delight. You get warped if you stay too long. The problem is that the house is also where I am most relaxed. Everywhere else, I feel I must have a persona.

I must get closer to the unschooling movement, because I’m very comfortable around homeschooling families; there’s less need to be something I’m not. Things just feel right and natural. It is the complete opposite of my feelings when around some of my overly institutional/capitalistic friends.

            Things went well tonight. There were roughly 50 people at the homeschooling information night. Eight bought my little magazine, Nation, and my answers were good, on the whole. I was emotionally refilled by the homeschooling event.

August 30—In an all-day venture, broken only by a brief stint when I helped Adam with his college application, I finished the Martin Luther King Jr. biography I’ve been reading. In a state of crisis this morning over scattered projects and waning interest in everything, I paused everything for a reading break. The book has inspired me to read more about nonviolence, in particular Gandhi’s Satyagraha. I think that I will start reading The Gandhi Reader once I have finished writing my Home Education Magazine column this month.

Peter Kowalke is a lifelong unschooler, and producer of Grown Without Schooling, a documentary about grown homeschoolers and the lasting influence of home education. You can contact Peter through his web site, GrownWithoutSchooling.com. This article originally appeared in the November-December, 1999 issue of Home Education Magazine.