Fall 2006

Resources and Reviews

The Dialogue Game: 10 Easy Rules for Creating More Enjoyable, Productive & Enlightening Conversations

Author: Peter Gryffon Winchell

Publisher: The Invisible Press, 2006

Number of Pages: 336

When we think of “dialogue” in the everyday sense of the word, we might think of “talking” or “conversation”.  A first glance through this book made me think of highly intellectual, gifted types sitting around a table picking each other’s brains in a very civilized manner. However, the phrase “10 Easy Rules” caught my attention. Anything that boils a complex idea into a nice round number with the word “easy” affixed to it is worth a closer look.

This book introduces the reader to new (yet ancient) dimensions in conversation. Although one could read it and come away with many ideas on how to be a better communicator, listener, or learner, you would only be scratching the surface.  The author boils down a very complex and rather abstract concept into a concrete, practical and comprehensive tool that can be learned and practiced by all: “Persons of all ages – from children to elders – can participate in Dialogue. Schools families, businesses, and communities thrive on the increased insight and shared understanding which results from more satisfying, productive, and inclusive conversations.”  (Page 19, TDG)

We all know how to play a game. It is a planned gathering of two or more people that involves using our brains to strategize, oppose, challenge, overcome and eventually win.  The only thing the “Dialogue Game” has in common with the accepted definition of “game” is that it begins as a “planned gathering”. There is plenty of brainpower being exercised and there are rules to follow but that is where the similarity ends.  The benefit of this planned meeting of the minds through the exchange of ideas by a very specifically designed flow of conversation is that everyone “wins.” Everyone learns. Everyone grows.  Everyone gains intellectually, emotionally, personally.

The game of Dialogue is set up and planned.  The participants must also be somewhat familiar with basics.  The book outlines every detail in a very engaging, comfortable manner so that the reader can concretely understand the process. Although the principles can certainly be used in a family, it would be easiest to start with a group of adults or older teen- agers that are really interested in honing communication to it’s finest level because that is the essence of Dialogue.

The book is divided into essentially three sections (a fourth section provides helpful resources and additional information.) Section I: What is Dialogue? Is a very comprehensive look at what Dialogue is not - it is not debate

and it is much more than discussion. Chapter 3 goes into detail about the rules or principles of Dialogue:  (1) It’s a Time-out! (a time to remove and relax); (2) No Right or Wrong Answers; (3) Make No Decisions - it is exploratory avoiding “hasty judgments” (4) You May “Pass” - no one is made to answer questions (5) Think in New Ways - the participants learn to examine their responses and look at the value of a new idea (6) Ask Interesting Questions - the goal is understanding and clarifying (7) Maximize Cohesion - all viewpoints, perspectives are heard and included in the whole (8) Honor Diversity - each person is unique and has valuable thoughts to share (9) Treat Each Other as Colleagues  (10) Everyone wins!  - the goal: “everyone leaves the game feeling valued, appreciated and enriched”.

Section II explains the above “Rules” in-depth and how they are applied and provides many examples and samples of dialogue.  Section III: The Keys to Deeper Enjoyment explains the methods of developing the practical skills used in the Rules to facilitate more effective dialogue.

This book is for anyone that wants to improve any portion of his or her life and relationships.  The reading is enlightening and provides an education

in the highest level of communication.

For more information visit: http://www.theinvisibleschool.org