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Teen Coach/Nigel Lane
Let’s face it – the things required these days to raise a child are expensive. Things can cost a lot of money – school fees, fashionable clothes, sports activities to name just some as a scratch on the surface. The way to control some or all of these costs is to train and teach your son/daughter to see things from your point of view and help them understand.
Teach them about budgeting and having a strategy that separates needs from desires. Teach them early! For example, your response to their begging and pleading will form a behaviour in them [if you have made mistakes in this areas you can change – start now]. Teach them that good times don’t have to cost much – picnics, hikes, long talks. Emphasise that experiences are often better than things, make Christmas and birthday gifts meaningful rather than expensive.
Teach them the value of things by giving them an allowance and avoid becoming a bank for them. Our son’s demands for high fashion brand names changed dramatically upon receipt of a regular clothing allowance. He very soon felt the choice between designer and regular – one shirt or several. Surprisingly he chose several – an option that wasn’t previously available when we went shopping with my money.
It is good to sit down with them and explain your family budget [we did this one time as youth leaders with our youth group -–it was enlightening to see just how much they didn’t know about this topic]. Show them the size of your rent/house payments, the telephone account and the amount you have to spend on water and utilities to light and heat your home [at least it will give context to you telling them to turn the lights off when they leave a room].
Show them your income and how little you have left every week/month. Their allowance then becomes their mini salary and you can talk to them about savings, tithe, fuel costs [if they drive], eating out etc. – help them to develop budgeting skills early in their life. You can also tell them that a credit card is wrongly named as it is a debt card.
In their budgeting skills – start now, help them by setting general guidelines for their spending. Avoid being too specific as we all know we need to be flexible to allow for unexpected costs or opportunities to enjoy ourselves. Avoid having ‘their money’ and ‘our money’ – rather let them experience the consequences of over spending and under saving.
Be a good example
Be open and honest
Begin early
It can be done.
Nigel Lane - The TeenCoach
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About the Teen Coach - Nigel Lane
He was born in an embarrassingly named Lancashire town in 1955, he was married in 1977. Jan and Nigel have 3 children and 4 grandchildren.
He was variously [and continuously] employed in several industries until he 'settled down' into sales and marketing for the transport and distribution industry. In 1991 he began working with young people in various situations which continues to this day. He has worked in schools, youth prison, camps and retreats, detached street work – to name a few. Late in 1999 Nigel and his wife Jan moved to Australia to continue his youthwork as Executive Director of YFC Geelong - Westcoast. He has developed teams of youthworkers, ran parenting seminars and regularly maintains contact with young people by working three days a week in a local high school.
Coaching and mentoring have been a part of Nigel's life for many years with formal training being received from Coach University. Nigel is also a member of Christian Coaches.
Speaking Experience
Nigel is at home in front of a classroom of unruly 15 year olds as well as Boardrooms. He has spoken to crowds of over 800 and in several countries of the world – Japan, Poland, Romania, Denmark, Canada, U.K. and various states of Australia.
Qualifications
Masters Degree from the University of Sheffield, Member of Toastmasters International, Lifetime member of Coach University and CoachVille, Member of Mensa, Cert 4 in Training and Assessment
Website: www.teencoach.org
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