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As you pass the mid-point of your school year and approach that final leg, it’s time to step back and re-evaluate. This is a season where the home teacher is exhausted, the children have lost the zest for the year’s curriculum and the spouse who pays the bills is beginning to feel neglected. How can we combat this time of year and all the negative feelings it brings?
For my husband and I, the best first step we could take was to sit down on a Friday evening, when both of our work weeks had ended, and go back to the basics of our home teaching choice. With a nice tasty cup of fruit tea, its sweet scent filling the air around us, we settled into our comfy armchairs and dissected our schooling for the year.
The first question asked was this: Why did we choose to home-teach? In this fast-paced society, it is easy to forget the reasons behind many of the things we do. By asking this foundational question, we forced ourselves back to that time when we analyzed what we hoped to accomplish with our children. It forced us to view our progress with a clear mind. Did we stray from the path? Were our children showing evidence of the success of that core reason? Had we forgotten why we began to home teach?
After much discussion and re-centering, we moved on to the next topic: Were our children benefiting from the home schooling process? It is so much easier to gage that answer today than it was when our children were in the home school. Far more people are home teaching and there are far more graduate parents to connect to. But still—there were enough others around us who were further down the teaching road or had moved beyond it that we were able to ask for their evaluation. I came to our little POW WOW armed with their answers, report cards and CAT tests in order to give us an honest idea. We discussed other children in our immediate society to see if our girls fit the social requirements. Although I’m not an advocate of comparing children, in some circumstances it is a necessary evil. By making these small comparisons, we were able to prepare our children for the time when they would step into society as adults.
Was there anything we should change to better improve their experience? I’m a firm believer in the adage that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Some parents get really caught up in getting the latest curriculum and keeping ahead of everyone else out there. But that can be a real hindrance if you are constantly jumping around the curriculum map. And it can be a big strain on your family relationships. We decided that since our children were ahead of the public system and they were content with what they were learning, we were best to leave well enough alone. And then we saved the best question for last.
Are we giving enough of ourselves to our spouse? The divorce rate in the home school is alarming. For many families who begin with the right intentions, home schooling becomes a wedge between husband and wife and what the couple has tried so hard to achieve ends up in a shambles. We spent much time on this topic, recognizing that it was the key in being successful in all other areas of the home school.
Did we spend enough time together? Was I focusing on the children too much? Was he spending too much time at work to avoid the noise and chaos of 24/7 family? Did we get creative and work at our marriage? Did we put each other ahead of our children, our church, our friends?
We made plans on that re-evaluation evening. We shared ideas. We bolstered each others tired emotions and re-committed to the institution of our marriage. We relaxed and wound down, allowing the priorities of our lives to surface. And in so doing, we brought needed freshness to the home school year.
If you are feeling the strain of one more year of teaching your children, perhaps it’s time for you to take an evening, step back and assess. Are you and hubby/wifey still as close to each other and in love? Are you still on the same page? Are your children meeting at least half of the goals you’ve set? Then take a deep breath, stretch those tired muscles, pat yourself on the back and tell each other what you need to hear. Spring will be here soon and another year will be under the belt. The kids are doing fine and we still love each other. And when all is said and done, relax in knowing that you are following the calling God has given you.
About the author:
Donna Fawcett is the author of Thriving in the Home School—A Parent’s Guide, and Redeemed and The Adam & Eve Project
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