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from National Writing Institute (Dave and Lea Marks)
It’s not unusual for young people, still learning to pass on information in writing, to present that information in jumbled and chaotic ways. In fact this is the norm, so if you’re reading your children’s writing and are finding that the ideas don’t flow smoothly from one information bit to the next one, don’t despair. You’re having an experience that’s shared by most teachers. The following exercise is designed to teach in about five days, students who are in grades six through ninth, that: 1) ideas in sentences can be connected; 2) ideas can flow from one sentence to the next; and 3) they can make ideas in their writing flow from one bit of information to the next one.
This exercise speaks directly to the student and you shouldn’t have to read it or interpret it to your children. Give it to them and tell them that everything that they might need to do it is contained within it. Don’t help them with it until they get stuck. At that point you might read that part of it with them and walk them through what they don’t understand.
PREWRITING
Day One:
The information in your writing should “flow” from one sentence to another. It’s not too hard to write this way. It just takes practice. But, that’s what this exercise will give you.
Notice in the above paragraph that there’s a flow of ideas from the first sentence on through the fourth. I’ll mark the words that show this flow when I write these sentences again, and you’ll see how this flow of information works:
The (1) information in your writing should (2) flow from one sentence to another. It’s (3) not too hard to write this way. It just (4) takes practice. But, that’s what this (5) exercise will give you. As you read through the list below, you’ll see where these connections occur.
1. The first sentence says that information should flow.
2. The second sentence says that it’s not hard to write this way.
3. The third sentence says that it just takes practice.
4. The fourth sentence says that this exercise will give you that practice.
Notice that there’s an idea connection between each bit of information and the next sentence. Here’s another paragraph with flow in its sentences. This time you’ll chart the flow of ideas just as I did in the last paragraph.
(Sentence 1) Over ninety percent of all of the life forms that have ever lived in this world no longer exist. (2) This is not all bad for us. (3) There have been things alive that we would not like to meet or have live near us. (4) Some creatures have been very large meat-eaters who would have liked nothing better than to have had us over for lunch. (5) Think of sharks that were sixty feet long, meat-eating animals as tall as a four story building and snakes fifty feet long. (6) We might even be better off today because some species are no longer with us.
WRITING
Chart the flow of ideas in that paragraph by listing the main idea of each sentence. I have underlined and made bold the main ideas (bits of information) in each sentence. (In some cases there’s a separation between the bits.)
Day Two:
We can even create flowing sentences if we do this process backwards. This time I’ll write the ideas, and you’ll write the sentences. Together we’ll make the ideas flow from one sentence to the next one. You’re to write six sentences based on the following six bits of information.
1. Bill had a pet
2. Not big
3. Carried it
4. Got away
5. Mother found it
6. Surprised mom
Each of your six sentences should contain the bit of information that’s numbered for that sentence.
For example: #1, “Bill had a pet.” You should make this into a sentence that tells your reader that Bill had a pet and what it was. Of course, the sentences you write will be longer than the bits in the list. In #1, the bit of information says that Bill had a pet. That information is a sentence but you’ll have to add to it. Yours might say something like this: Bill Jones found a snake and thought it would make a nice pet. (It might be better if you didn’t use my sentence.)
So, when you write sentence number one, use my words, Bill had a pet, then use your own words for the rest of the sentence. Do the same for the other sentences, but try not to tack your words on the ends of mine. In each sentence you can mix up the bits of information any way you like.
Day Three:
You can do the next part of this exercise without so much of my help. Write a paragraph that’s built on the same steps you used to write the above sentences. Describe some simple action that you do well. Start in the first sentence with the first thing you do. The second sentence should tell the second thing you do, and so on. There may be as many steps as you like.
Be sure there’s a flow from the information in each sentence to the next sentence. As an example of how to do this, I’ll tell you about how good a cook I am.
I’m good at making peanut butter sandwiches. Below is a paragraph which has flow that tells how I make a peanut butter sandwich. Notice that the sentences have, as many steps as you use to make the sandwich. These steps and sentences come in the same order. This means that the first thing I do to make a sandwich is in the first sentence and the second thing I do to make the sandwich is in the second sentence, and so on. Sentence #1. Materials Sentence #2. Knife and plate Sentence #3. Open jar and bread Sentence #4. Spread butter and peanut butter Sentence #5. Put sides together Sentence #6. Slam door _> Here are these bits of information presented in a paragraph. Notice how the information in this paragraph flows from each sentence to the next one:
When I make a peanut butter sandwich, the first thing I do is () gather all of the materials I’ll need: the peanut butter, butter, and bread. Of course, I have to have a (2) plate and a knife. After I have all of these things on the counter, I open the (3) jar and the bread package. The best part, the one I like the best, is (4) spreading the butter and the peanut butter on one side of one of the pieces of bread. Putting the (5) slices of bread together is the last step. Oh, yes, I almost forgot, I have to (6) slam the door on the way out.
Days Four and Five:
You probably can’t cook as well as I can, so you’ll have to think of something that you know how to do. You can write about how you ride a bike, work with your computer, hem a dress, program the VCR, wash dishes, train your horse, or anything else that you’re very good at. Try not to write about making a sandwich.
Make a list of the steps you take to do this activity. Make sure that the order of the steps makes sense and turn this list of steps into a paragraph in which the ideas flow from one sentence to the next one.
If your sentences don’t flow beautifully now, don’t worry, they soon will.
This lesson is part of the writing curriculum designed by Dave and Lea Marks founders of the National Writing Institute and authors of the popular, award-winning, “Writing Strands” creative writing series developed primarily for homeschool use. From early childhood and Special Needs to texts which help students prepare for college, there is program that will help your student write well and enjoy the process. For information on all of their excellent resources
and complete curriculum and programs, visit the web site: www.writingstrands.com
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