I am concerned with the increasing numbers of school children who are experiencing burnout as they go through the year in traditional schools. They struggle to remain in an educational system that professes to care about the individual child, but refuses to recognize individual talents and overlooks potential individual goals in the name of team effort. A principle that seems to have been forgotten by those in the academic world is that the child is a person first and a student second.

How and when does a parent decide that the current educational mode is not working and that homeschooling is better for the child? It is possible to make a smooth transition, but it takes a brave parent who is willing to be a pioneer to make that first step into the homeschooling frontier. It is important to understand the studentís behavior, motivation, and thoughts about school and parental involvement in the educational process.

As the student tries to forge ahead on the educational course his parents have established for him since kindergarten, it may be becoming more difficult and overwhelming for him every day. When he does not feel that he fits into his peer group, he will begin to manifest behaviors that demonstrate how he is feeling about himself and his world. Unfortunately, he does not realize he is doing this, but instead believes he is keeping this unhappiness and uncertainty from his parents. He does not want to disappoint his parents because, after all, they sent him to this school so they must want him to be here. Whether or not this is really true does not matter; it is what the child believes.

Burnout in rocketry is the point at which a rocketís fuel or oxidizer is completely burned up. Once that happens, either the rocket enters the free-flight phase or is jettisoned. If the former happens, the rocket establishes its own flight pattern, giving no heed to orders from the command base. If the latter is done, the rocket is considered useless or burdensome and is discarded. None of this matters if we are talking about a material object. However, if we are talking about burnout in a child, it is dangerous and may have a tragic outcome to the child and those around him.

The stress caused by this emotional exhaustion manifests itself in many ways. Telltale signs, those outward indications of what a student means to keep secret, are important to recognize. The parent must then act quickly and responsibly to correct the situation before a final ëbreaking-pointí is reached.

Three basic signs to look for are anger, defiance, and sadness. Any combination of these will be evident and they are not in any specific order. Each may seem muted at first, but in my consultations with parents, they marvel at how they could have missed any of the signs. What once seemed muted now screams blatantly.

Anger is the first common emotion for a child in burnout to manifest because he is struggling with self and those around him. He is less adept at verbalizing his feelings and anger erupts first, before words can be spoken in a rational manner. Flinging himself on the floor in a tantrum, throwing objects, abusing animals or people, acting out, and sassing are all possible demonstrations of this anger. Ridicule from the teacher, classmates, siblings, or parents result. Defiance is the second sign of burnout. It is based on the childís perception of adult control. Because he believes that his teacher is trying to control him, he refuses to do schoolwork or anything that is expected by her. He refuses to complete chores at home, using passive resistance or outright defiance. He may also start using drugs or alcohol as a way to show his independence and control. When I talk with students who are in this mode, they state that refusal and defiance are ways they can have at least some control over their life.

The third sign is intense sadness. Along with sorrow, the child may eat less, eat more, stop showing any emotion, or cry at the drop of a hat. He may talk about how lonely he is or say that nobody at all understands him. He may shrug his shoulders and mutter, ìWhatís the use? Nobody cares anyway.î It is even possible that he will exhibit elective mutism and stop talking for a long time. This is not a manipulation on his part, but a coping mechanism, so it is important to not try to force him to talk. Drug or alcohol abuse and suicide may be the end result of depression.

To make a smooth transition to homeschool when any of the above is present, the parent should try to have a basic plan ready. Do not wait until the next school year begins before homeschooling, even if a fully developed plan is not ready. The situation is not going to improve with time, but will continue to deteriorate as each day passes and the childís very life is at stake. How he handles frustration and uncompromising circumstances is being taught every day by adult actions. No plan encompasses every contingency, but must be shaped every day.

A few recommendations will help make the transition smoother. Depending on the age of the child, it is helpful to discuss educational materials, field trips, and interest areas so that the child can begin to look ahead. Also try to have proper closure at the school prior to starting homeschool. Most teachers and classmates appreciate having the opportunity to say goodbye. Finally, embark on a family-friendly project once the child is home. Favorites are baking bread, preparing a special dinner and planning and shopping for garden supplies together. The first steps at home are reclaiming and restoring family relationships.

Once home, try not to expect that all will go well immediately. The child needs to slowly drop the behaviors, poor self-esteem issues, and lack of desire to learn. Give him time to rest and I promise you, he will emerge victoriously.

Shirley Minster is the founder and director of Home Education & Family Services/Royal Academy, Inc., sponsor of the New England Homeschool & Family Learning Conference in Boxborough, MA. Shirley will be leading sessions on ADD/ADHD; High School; College Preparation and Recognizing and Dealing with Educational Burnout.