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by Shirley M.R. Minster
When a student begins the high school years, adults begin talking about careers. “What are you going to do after high school? What colleges are you thinking about?” It is common for teens to dislike any talk about ‘after high school’. Some even express fear by retorting sassily that they want to do nothing. This of course gains them no ground with adults and does little for their self-esteem. Adults need to recognize that teens are not angry with them, but are masking their fear and concern about the future with flippant comments.
The word ‘career’ has an interesting background. It comes from the French word carriere that means ‘race course’ and it in turn is derived from the Vulgar Latin (the everyday speech of the Romans) carraria which means ‘carriage road’. So, by definition, a career is actually the pathway one takes, not the end job. It takes one forward not towards a goal, but towards the goal.
In a marathon, the goal is to cross the finish line. The runner focuses on the point ahead, not the starting gate behind him. His eye is on the prize. He runs intelligently, applying all the training techniques he learned. He used strenuous training to prepare himself for the race. His coach helped prepare him. This very important person is someone who understands the dangers and pitfalls along the way. He ran races, too, and understands intimately the exhilaration of the start, the exhaustion in the middle, and the struggle to the end. The coach also knows his runner’s weaknesses and inner struggles so he prepares the athlete, before he gets on the track. The coach outlines a regimen that will help - proper nutrition, vitamins, water, and rest to help his runner build stamina
and strength.
This unique relationship between a runner and a coach is centered on trust. The runner who recognizes that his coach cares for him is more stable. When a teen is thinking about a career, oftentimes he is more focused on the end result, the job, rather than the road to the job. He may have an idea of what he wants to do, but he does not understand the steps needed to reach his goal. This is where his coaches come in. Parents provide the guidance necessary to help him attain his goal. This unique relationship must include patience, trust, honesty, realistic expectations, humor, and listening from both parties. If the parents lack patience, they will not be able to withstand the barbs sent their way when the teens get sassy due to fear. The teens often react better if their parents talk honestly about the path to a career. It’s okay to say, “I remember when I was your age”, but don’t say it too often or it loses its punch. Keep your reminiscences pertinent to the immediate situation.
If you have concerns yourself about guiding your son or daughter, you can get help navigating the process. Career consultants and guidance counselors can answer questions for both you and your child. There are a number of good books on the market to help, too. Your friends and acquaintances who work in the career your child is interested in will most likely talk with your teen, too, if they are given time to prepare. Invite them over for coffee so that your teen can hear about their job. Perhaps a time can be set up for the teen to visit the person at work so he can get a real look at the job.
Preparing for a career is just as strenuous as preparing for a race. It takes intelligent planning. The goal is right ahead and can be attained through hard work and effort. The cheering at the end by the onlookers and well-wishers makes it all worthwhile.
About the author:
Shirley is founder of Home Education & Family Services, a full-time service organization offering a wide variety of helps and resources for homeschooling families, and Royal Academy, a unique alternative to traditional schools that is based upon the model of parental involvement in the education of their children. Shirley has worked in the field of education and with homeschooling families located throughout the world for over 25 years. Visit the web site: http://www.homeeducator.com for more information on Shirley’s work.
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