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By Dave Marks, National Writing Institute
In the last essay (click here for Part I) we worked with the narrative voice option, number. If you are working with your children with these essays, you now have introduced to them two elements, person and number. If they understand these two options and how they work and can use their choices in their narratives, fine. This essay will introduce them to the function and use of tense. Most children in third grade understand tenses and how they work in stories. The major problem with tenses for young writers is with
consistency of use.
It is easy for them to become confused when they must shift from one tense to another in the same narration. Even some older children have difficulty with the justifications for shifting tense use. If you work with this exercise or one like it with your children, it should clear up any confusion they might have.
You might begin with a short review of the options of tense a narrative voice has. Explain to them that past tense refers to events that have happened, present tense refers to events that are happening as the story is being told, and that future tense refers to events that will
happen.
Your children will have to select a tense for use before they begin to write. The most common tense for stories and the easiest one to use is past tense. They will naturally use that choice. But within that choice there will be occasions for the use of present and future tenses. In most narratives there are opportunities to shift tenses, and this is good if it is conscious and controlled.
There must be some justification for a shift from the use of one tense to another. An example may help here. I will write a short piece of narration using the narrative voice choice of past tense. In this narration I will shift into present and future tenses but will give an explanation for the shifts. The tenses used are highlighted and explanations are in italics.
It was (past and the narrative voice choice for tense) still early and the sun was creating an orange line at the horizon. Bill was walking to school even though it was a mile and the fall weather was unusually cold. It made (up to here the narrative voice uses only past tense) him think of squirrel hunting and what fun he knew he will have (here the voice shifts into future tense but in Bill's mind, though, the voice is still telling the story in past tense) that weekend. He would have to (here the shift is into the future perfect tense) get up at about the same time as he had (a shift into past perfect) this morning, but he knew he would be (future perfect) eager to do so. He wondered (back to past) why he was so eager this year, then thought of his new Winchester rifle he was going to be (future) given when he got home after school today. He could see (past) it. The stock is (present tense in his mind) shining and very smooth; the feel of it is (present) heavy in his hands. In his mind he sees (present) the four power scope with the fine cross hairs and the click adjustment for elevation and windage.
This would be a little complicated for most third graders, and they should work with just one or two shifts at first. You might start the following way with your younger children.
Mom: Betty, I want you to give me a sentence in past tense.
Betty: Sure, "Bob went to the store."
Mom: That was easy. Now I want you to shift into the future tense as Bob thinks about what he has been told to buy.
Betty: I don't understand.
Mom: When you write "Bob went to the store", you're using past tense, but Bob can't think about what he will have to buy at the store in past tense because he isn't there yet. He has to think in future tense. You have to write what is in his mind in future tense so that your reader understands this.
Betty: I see what you mean. I have to shift from past tense to future tense. But you told us that we couldn't shift tenses when we write.
Mom: Now that you're older and can understand more, you'll have to shift. Just try it.
Betty: "As Bob was walking to the store he was thinking about all the things his mother had told him to get. He thought, 'I will have to buy milk, bread and one pound of butter.' "
Mom: That's really good. You did it just right. You started with the narrative voice using past tense and then you got into the mind of the character and had Bill think in future tense. Good for you.
When your younger children can handle that, try another variation.
Mom: Betty, you did so well with that first shift, I want you to try something a little harder. This time I want you to write a sentence in present tense but to shift into past tense use without getting into the mind of the character. A hint. You can do this if you are in the mind of the narrative voice.
Betty: Does this have to be this hard?
Mom: This only seems hard to you because you haven't thought about it before. Try.
Betty: "Bill is walking to the store where he will get milk and eggs."
Mom: You did that right but you shifted into future tense and I asked for a shift into past. Try again.
Betty: "Bill is walking to the store. He has to pick up groceries for his mom. He remembers that she told him she wanted milk and eggs."
Mom: You are really good at this,
Betty. Let's try one more. Try choosing future tense for your narrative voice, but then shift into past tense for some reason.
Betty: What reason?
Mom: You figure it out.
Betty: "Bill will be going to the store for milk later today because I heard Mom tell him he had to go after lunch."
Mom: You understand this so well I'm going to let you explain it to Janet and then you can give her some exercises like I just gave you.
If you work with your children this way, two things will happen. One is that they will learn to control their use of tenses. And two, you'll have a wonderful time with your
children.
This is so much better for young minds than working in workbooks. There isn't much that is worse for a young, eager mind than tv and workbooks. Play with their minds just the way you used to play with their fingers and toes when they were very small. You'll like what happens, I guarantee it.
For more information on learning and teaching writing skills, visit:
http://www.writingstrands.com
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