Working With the Narrative Voice (Part IV)
by Dave Marks, National Writing Institute
Mom: Betty, I want to introduce you to another aspect of narrative voice today.
Betty: We’ve done so much with that I’m getting tired of it.
Mom: I thought you wanted to learn to write.
Betty: What about using a workbook like I did last year?
Mom: Is that what you really want?
Betty: No. I know this stuff about voices is really important, but I wish it came easier.
Mom: Today’s lesson is easier. It’s about involvement. It has to do with whether the narrative voice is part of the action or just observes it.
Betty: See? I’m already confused. I don’t even know what you just said.
Mom: We’ve been working with narrative for months now so you know most of what I said.
Betty: Sure, but what’s this about part of the action? Isn’t the voice always part of the story?
Mom: Not always. You have to decide before you start to write anything whether the voice you use will be involved in the action of what you are writing or not.
Betty: Give me an example of the voice not being part of the action.
Mom: Ok, what should I talk about? How about that little girl who took a walk through the woods to Grandmother’s house?
Betty: You mean Red Hood?
Mom: No. Little Red Riding Hood. You know that.
Betty They’re the same. They both belong to the Hood family.
Mom: Is that where Robin’s from?
Betty: Sure. And Range and Car. They’re all from the same family.
Mom: Yeah, and they got that cousin, New York.
Betty: You got it now.
Mom: First I’ll tell part of this story as if I were just an observer and not involved. I’ll start in the middle of the story.
The wolf raced ahead of Little so he would be in Grandmother’s bed when Little got there. And sure enough, he was. When Little knocked on the door, Grandmother aid, “Who’s there?”
Little said, “It is I, Grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood.”
When Little came in and saw her grandmother covered up in bed, she said, “What big eyes you have, Grandmother.” Grandmother said, “The better to see you with, my dear.”
Little said, “What big teeth you have, Grandmother.
The wolf jumped out of bed shouting, “The better to eat you with, my dear!”
Mom: The narrative voice was just an observer of the story. That voice the author created didn’t have anything to do with the action at all.
Betty: You mean that if Little had pulled out a gun and shot the wolf the narrative voice wouldn’t have done anything to stop her?
Mom: Right. But it would ruin the story, wouldn’t it?
Betty: I can see that the voice in that telling of the story isn’t involved in the action at all. You call that voice an observer?
Mom: Sure, the voice can’t do or say anything to influence what happens and isn’t even in the story as a character.
Betty: Not involved, eh?
Mom: You got it. Now I’ll tell the same part of the story again, but this time I’ll make the narrative voice a part of the action. This means that the narrative voice can be one of the main characters or the voice can be a minor character and just tell what it can see from where it is standing when the action takes place.
Betty: Which are you going to use this time?
Mom: I’ll tell this part of the story as first person. I’ll tell it as if I were the wolf. That should be fun.
I saw this plump but not-too-bright looking little girl coming along the path through the trees. I said to myself, There has to be something here for me. So I asked her where she was going. She said to her grandmother’s house. Poor training at home, if you ask me. She should have been taught not to talk to strangers in the woods. But she looked good enough to eat to me and I asked her, kinda sly like, where her grandma lived. When she told me, I raced ahead and ate her grandmother. A little tough and stringy, but I hadn’t had anything since breakfast and I was hungry.
I got in bed and covered myself up and waited for the kid to get there. Pretty soon she knocked on the door. When I asked who it was, she said, It is I, Grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood. I knew this was gonna be too easy ‘cause any kid who would answer her grandmother like that had to be really dumb.
From then on it was snap. She asked a couple of questions and I jumped at her.
Mom: Can you see the difference?
Betty: Sure I can. And when the narrative voice is involved in the action, she cares what happens.
Mom: She?
Betty: Yeah, wolves can be female, can’t they? Mom: If you want them to I guess they can be.
Betty: Does an involved narrative voice always have to tell the story in first person?
Mom: Good question. No. Let me tell that part of the story again and use an involved voice but not have it in first person.
We were leaning against this big tree talking about this and that and along the path comes this little girl. Well, the wolf perks up. I could see right there she had something in mind. She stops the girl and asks her where she’s going. When the kid tells her, she turns and runs off. I follow and we come to this little house. The wolf goes in and I can hear her trying to swallow the old lady whole. But, the wolf gets her mostly down and when I go in, she’s in bed all covered up, tucking a left foot back into her throat.
There’s a knock on the door and the wolf asks who it is. I can hear the kid say, “It is I, Grandmother.” The wolf chuckled, and I knew what she was thinking. She says, “Come in.” The little girl says, “What big eyes you have, Grandmother.” The wolf smiled and said, “Better to see you with, my dear.” Anybody with half a brain could see the wolf wasn’t a grandmother to that kid, but that girl goes right on with, “What big teeth you have, Grandmother.” Even though the wolf had just eaten, she jumps out at the kid.
Mom: Could you see that the narrative voice was there but not involved in the action, but was just an observer?
Betty: Sure. And thanks for the girl wolf, Mom.
Mom: I guess now that we have equality of the sexes, girl wolves get to eat grandmothers, too.
This should be another easy exercise for your children. Few young writers have trouble with it. You might give them the job writing a part of a story two times using both types of narrative voices in them. The only problem they might have is with the non-involved observer. It is easy to get the narrative voice doing something in the story. You might warn your children about this. I don’t think that wolf was a girl wolf at all. I think it was a mean, male wolf.
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