A New Bully on the Playground
by Jackie Paxton, Ed.D
Timothy Leggett, Ed.D

Many of today's parents remember growing up in a time when skating rinks and malt shops were the places where young people gathered to hang out with friends. This was the way teens socialized with classmates and other children from the community. Any time a group would gather there would usually be one or two bullies in the crowd who liked to spend their time picking on and intimidating other kids. They were well known, and for the most part, could be avoided.

But changing times bring changes in technology. The malt shop and the skating rink no longer rank high on the places for children to socialize. They have been replaced by Internet social sites such as Facebook, My Space and Twitter. Now, a child's social status may be dictated by how many friends they have on these sites. Cell phones have brought about major changes in the way children communicate and the way families function. Communication is instantaneous. Much of the socialization that takes place with today's children is on a computer or a cell phone.

The development of these new forms of socialization has also brought about the rise of a new bully; the cyber bully. Countless children are subject to verbal attack, name-calling, threats, and intimidation on the Internet and on their cell phones. In years past, the neighborhood bully was a threat on the playground and on the trip to and from school. However, this new bully can strike fear into the heart of your child at any time. The child's home was a haven of safety from yesterday's bully, but this new bully strikes at all hours of the day and night. They are on a constant prowl for victims to terrorize. As the child researches a homework assignment on the Internet an Instant Message pops onto the screen; "Wait until tomorrow. We're going to kick your ***." The child checks his/her email only to find a similar message waiting. The child signs off the net too upset to finish his/her homework. That night in the early hours of the morning the victim is awakened by a beep on their cell phone; a message is waiting. They don't even have to look at the message to know what it says. It's like the other threatening messages the bully sends every night: more threats of possible physical attacks, more subtle threats of "I'm watching you," or "You can't hide. I can find you wherever you go."

The impact of these verbal attacks can be devastating to many children. Fear of going to school and facing these bullies in person is an overwhelming issue for many children. An even greater fear is going to school and facing classmates who have seen the lies and misleading statements posted on web sites. Recent news headlines have brought an awareness of how serious this issue is as reports of children committing suicide as a result of the threats they have received in cyberspace have become more frequent.

As the use of the Internet and cell phones has increased so have the numbers of Internet bullies. They are limited only by the technology available. Most of these episodes of bullying takes place in the private world of children that parents and teachers never see. In the past it was easy to see who the school bully was; it was obvious as they physically picked on the other children. In today's society your own child might be sitting next to you reading a text message as you drive them to school, and you may not have any idea they have just been threatened in a text message.

In the fast-paced, hectic world we live in, technology has, in many ways, made life easier and more efficient. In other ways this advance in technology has brought unforeseen problems such as the rise of the cyberbully. The classrooms of America are decorated with signs that proclaim, "No bullying." However, the cyber bully attacks in other ways and other times. As a parent you need to be aware of the number of text messages your child receives. Ask them who they are receiving text messages from, and who they are text messaging? Watch the child's reaction after they have received a text message. Read their body language. Are they happy, as noted by a smile? Are they upset or agitated? If so, find out why? You may be your child's best defense against these Internet terrorists. The best way to protect your child from a cyber bully is to be on guard, to know this new bully exists, waiting for the next victim to step into cyberspace.

Author(s) Information:

Jackie Paxton, Ed.D. is a Professor of Education at Arkansas Tech University in Russellville, Arkansas. He has presented several hundred workshops on Attention Deficit Disorder, Positive Discipline Approaches, Exceptionalities and parenting issues. He is the author of Learning Every Day In Every Way, available from etreasurespublishing.com or Amazon.com. He may be reached at jpaxton@atu.edu or jackiepaxton@yahoo.com.

Timothy Leggett, Ed.D. is an Assistant Professor of Education at Arkansas Tech University in Russellville, Arkansas. He has presented at workshops on dealing with Boys in the Classroom, Learning Styles of Boys and What is the Big Deal about Boys. He may be reached at tleggett@atu.edu.